The term "success" can have varying meanings depending on who you are asking. When it comes to raising children, many parents (even some Christian parents) will state that they were "successful" because their children are well educated and making a lot of money...but when results are examined, their children are (at best) lukewarm Christians or they are not even pretending to be faithful. This should bring to remembrance the words of Christ: "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?" (Matthew 16:26 ESV). If our children have obtained their advanced degrees and earned lots of money and notoriety, but they've accepted the so-called morality of the world, then we have failed as parents...we've traded the souls of our children for glitter of the futile world.
All too many Christians allow their children's minds to be molded by the ungodly...think of the ratios: How many hours do children spend in the presence of non-Christians each week who have control over their thinking? "But," some Christians argue, "we never miss church services or Bible class!" What is the ratio of Bible class time to secular "education" time? This should be a sobering observation for Christian parents.
The Apostle Paul instructed that older Christian men and women are to teach the younger generations in Titus 2:1-10, and for the purpose of godly conduct and salvation (Titus 2:11-15). A few years ago, I asked a number of godly, Christian parents who have been successful in raising a godly family, to help fulfill Paul's command in Titus 2. The following is part of that advice, and over the next few "articles" more will be presented...if we are to be successful as Christians and especially as Christian parents, then we need to be wise and discerning about who we allow to have influence over our minds and over the minds of our children. An underlying concept of Titus 2 is not only that godly principles are to be taught by the older generations, but that they are to be both learned and applied by the younger!
With that in mind, please listen to the advice of godly parents without making the common excuse of "but that doesn't fit MY situation"...yes, the advice WILL work, regardless of particular circumstances.
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"If parents are not finding joy and purpose in living a life of sacrificial service, the children likely won’t grow up to do that either. If the parents are not taking steps of faith that leave them dangling with no support except for that given by God, the children likely won’t grow up to do that either. If the parents are not discussing the gospel with their neighbors, the children likely won’t grow up to do that either. If the parents are not picking up their cross daily and following Christ, the outcome for the children will likely be one of these three cases:
- Best case: the children decide the parents are a bad example, and they choose to seek Christ according to the Bible. Praise God! But the children rarely do this.
- Worse case: the children recognize the truth, that their parents’ faith is only skin-deep, and they conclude that following Christ is just a show, not a completely changed life. After all, they have not seen any changes in the life of their parents. The children will then decide that spiritual involvement is really just hypocrisy, and they will turn away from it with a disdain that prevents them from ever returning.
Unfortunately,
in our current culture, the third case is becoming more and more common. Secular influences have said “religion is for
hypocrites” for many years, and when our children see their parents prove the
saying to be true, our children believe it, too. And really, who can blame them? We are fond
of saying that our children leave the Lord because of liberal professors at
college. Would that it were true. All too often, the sad fact is that our
children were gone long before they left for college. In college, they just stopped attending
worship services because there was nobody around for whom they need to put on
the show.
So
what are godly parents to do? How can they raise children who become godly
adults? Yes, teach them. Yes, train
them. But yes, be an example for them in
the way you serve God. Take big
risks for God. Go out on that limb where
only God can help you. Pray bold
prayers. Share the gospel like it really
is a life and death matter, for it is.
Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and rely on God to
provide what you need, no matter how scary that may be. Fill your home with verbal praise for God.
Do
all of that whether you have children or not.
But if you have children, and you want them to learn from your example,
then invite your children into your life of faith. Involve them in it. Explain why you are doing what you are doing
for the kingdom. Show them in the Bible
why you are doing it this way. Let them
hear you entreat God to fulfill the promise you have found in Scripture. Let them see a faith that costs you
something, such as hobbies, pleasures, money, sleep, sweat, and health. If you invite them into your life of real,
vibrant, faith, they will learn how to have that same faith. And they will learn how to invite your
grand-children into that same life of real, vibrant, faith that they learned from
you. What a blessing that will be!"
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