Part 03: Tough Decisions

Reference first: Ephesians 5:22-6:4

It is all too easy to allow the world to dictate how we define "success," especially when it comes to raising a family. The focal point of the world is consistently "make yourself happy," which is a very superficial approach to take. What makes you "happy" one day (or even one moment) is likely to change the next...this can be easily illustrated by a brief examination of passing trends on social media. It takes no substance of character to be blown about by every passing wind (see Ephesians 4:11-16).

Success within the family, as defined by God, is often not very popular with the world. Why is it not popular? Because success in the family requires selflessness rather than selfishness - each family member has to think about what is best, especially spiritually, for each other. It requires godly submission, which is certainly not popular...it requires limiting or completely abstaining from some worldly activities (even ones that are not inherently sinful). Remember, "...seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness..." (Matthew 6:33 ESV).

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"But do have daily sit-down studies. Repeat: do have daily sit-down studies. Every. Day. Doesn’t need to be a marathon. Short times with informal reverence but be consistent. Besides, it is the best way to train little ones to sit still for formal worship services."

"Limit extracurricular activities. With several children it’s easy to spend time running here and there: and not enough time together. Family “together time” is more important. Too many extras will destroy priorities. (Yeah, we’ve all heard horror stories about children who trade Bible classes for ball practice.) "

"Guard influences. Never be afraid to separate your child from someone who is a bad influence – in talk and actions. This includes family members! (Proverbs 20:11)"

"Watch their friends and other people who influence their lives."

"Children need moms at home. Period. No matter their age. Home work is never ending. Secular work is distracting and exhausting. No amount of extra money is worth the trade-off."


"We teach our children in so many ways and we often just don’t realize that we are teaching them at all. I always talk to my kids when we are working at a job and they pick up on what I have said so easily. This is exactly what Deut. 6:1-6 is saying that fathers should be teaching their sons and grandsons. All the time! When we are just doing very simple and common things the kids will be so open to learning. I know I have missed many good opportunities to teach my family as children are just little sponges absorbing whatever you say, so we should be very careful what we talk about. But teaching good, godly principles is what we should be doing all the time.


And so I do wish I had made better use of the time I had when I could have taught them many things about spiritual matters. We often think that what we say will be over their heads, but not so! They are sharper than we often give them credit for. I wanted to make sure my children and grandchildren were taught of God when I was a very new father myself. I often think how much I missed when my children were growing up and I have always had this feeling that I just wish I could have had more time with them when they were young. I look back and I think how much I have missed! I know I didn’t fully appreciate the treasure they were when they were young. They were the sweetest kids in the world and the best behaved."