Part 02: Learn from Wisdom

 In Proverbs 20:29 (ESV), King Solomon wrote, "The glory of young men is their strength, but the splendor of old men is their gray hair."  The underlying principle is that there is a beneficial wisdom that accompanies experience, which in turn means that the younger generations are to listen to and adhere to the advice of their elders.  This is not a principle that is glorified in our society...rather, our society more closely reflects the words Agur in Proverbs 30:11-15 (NKJV), "There is a generation that curses its father, and does not bless its mother.  There is a generation that is pure in its own eyes, yet is not washed from its filthiness.  There is a generation - oh, how lofty are their eyes! And their eyelids are lifted up.  There is a generation whose teeth are like swords, and whose fangs are like knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.  The leech has two daughters - Give and Give!" Our society perpetuates the belief that older generations are "archaic" in their beliefs, but younger generations are wise and "evolved" in their own belief systems...that older generations are racist, misogynistic, anti-progressive, and "anti-science."  As the words of Agur depict, younger generations foolishly reject the wisdom and experience of previous generations because they (the younger generation) are "pure in" their "own eyes," yet they are "not washed from" their own "filthiness."  

More often than not, younger generations reflect the attitude and approach of Rehoboam in 1 Kings 12.  Believing themselves to be wise, the foolish younger generation (along with Rehoboam) rejected the counsel of wiser, older men, and it ended up literally costing them a kingdom.  

With these brief thoughts from Scripture in mind, consider these words of counsel from older generations of Christians concerning the family and how to be truly successful parents: 

_______________________________________________________

• First: Love God
• Second: Love their Mother
• Third: Love your children 

• Pray – a lot! For you, for their mother, and for your children.

• Husbands and fathers – be a man – accept and fulfill your God given responsibilities.

• Lead – children can’t follow unless they are lead – think “shepherd”.  This is first and foremost of the father’s responsibility.

• Young parents need to decide early (before children, even before marriage) that they are going to do whatever it takes to get it done right.

• Your ultimate goal (besides education, good citizenship, healthy – spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially) is to get them back to heaven!

• Get, accept, and apply advice from godly, successful parents.  Do this consistently throughout their “home years”.  We can tend to become complacent or think we have “arrived”.

• Children don’t need money, things, fine house, the most or biggest toys – they need your love, time, personal investment in the, and guidance.

• Though I know I spent 100 or even 1,000 times more time with my children than did either my dad or mother – it is one thing I’d try harder to do more of if I could go back and do it over.

• Teach them early “no” means “no” (not even sometimes “maybe”).  It is one of the first words they can learn and it is fundamentally needful.

• Have zero toleration for defiance.  You MUST win every battle of defiance.

• Have zero toleration for lying.

• Don’t make unreasonable rules or impose unreasonable expectations – remember they are children.  Unreasonableness can be discouraging (provoke to anger) and can result in rebellion.

• Be reasonable in the number of rules you make – the number can grow slowly as they grow and you expect more from them.

• Enforce the rules that you do make (remember the ore you make the more you must remember too).

• Well loved and well trained and disciplined are happy children.

• Hug and kiss them a lot! Can’t do that too much! Children go through a stage when they don’t want that…they are too old or too big and certainly don’t want it in front of their peers.  I did this a huge amount when you all were little, but I allowed your growing to interrupt this for the above reasons.  I regret it.

• Make sure both parents are on the same page – Mom must enforce Dad’s rule and Dad must enforce Mom’s rules (if you disagree – you must still show a united front and discuss differences privately).  Children will divide and conquer.

• Don’t tolerate any disrespect – in either action, facial expression, body language, or words (sassing) towards their mother.  You may be “king” but she is “queen”.  This is especially important with boys who will quickly grow larger than mom.