Your Daughter Will Hear - Role Models for Our Daughters

What are the criteria by which you judge an individual to be a role model for your children? Recently, I came across a quotation posted by a young Christian lady that jumpstarted my thinking about how this question applies specifically to our daughters (yes, it is clearly important to carefully think about the role models our sons have as well, but that is not the specific focus of this article, and I was thinking specifically about my own daughter).  Through ignorance, a lot of individuals are held up as role models based on the wrong criteria…indeed, by superficial criteria rather than by spiritual, Biblical criteria.  The world (indeed, Satan) wants us to hold up rich, powerful, celebrities and/or political females as role models for our daughters while ignoring problems of character, which certainly conveys an ungodly message to our daughters. 

In Matthew 12:33-37 (ESV), Jesus said, “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit.  You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.  The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil.  I tell you, on the day of judgement people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”  According to Jesus, our words certainly matter, and they should not be in the “wisdom of men” but in the “power of God” (see 1 Corinthians 2:1-5).  With this in mind, let us think about ignorantly setting up role models vs. wisely choosing role models, with a specific focus on our daughters. 

1.)    Ignorance is saying that a woman should be a role model for my daughter because she is a (in worldly terms) “girl boss” due to her celebrity, political, or business-world status.

a.       This conveys to my daughter that the world’s perspective of the value of a woman is of more importance than God’s expectations.

 

2.)    Wisdom is looking to what God revealed concerning role models for our daughter, then finding godly women that exemplify those qualities:

a.       “…the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things – that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Titus 2:3-5 NKJV).

b.      “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.  Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel – rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.  For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror” (1 Peter 3:1-6 NKJV).

3.)    Ignorance is saying that a woman should be a role model for my daughter simply because of the intersectionality of her gender and ethnicity while ignoring the ungodly lifestyle, beliefs, and behavior of that woman.

a.       This conveys to my daughter that both sex and ethnicity are more important than content of character and godliness

 

4.)    Wisdom is understanding that the two quoted passages above (Titus 2:3-5 & 1 Peter 3:1-6) deal specifically with godliness and content of character

a.       Consider – if we hold up as a role model a woman simply because of her sex and/or ethnicity, yet ignore the beliefs she espouses (for example, her stances on abortion, transgenderism, racism, chastity, [foul] language. etc.), then we are conveying to our daughters that sex and ethnicity outweigh issues of righteousness.

b.      “And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who, knowing the righteous judgement of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them” (Romans 1:28-32 NKJV).

c.       Note that the Apostle Paul addressed what a person stood for rather than holding a person up because of their gender and ethnicity.  Content of character over superficiality.

 

5.)    Ignorance is holding up ungodly, worldly women as role models for my daughter while ignoring the ungodliness and glorifying her “power”

a.       This conveys to my daughter that the Christian women in her life who exude the godly, chaste qualities illustrated in Titus 2:3-5 & 1 Peter 3:1-6 are of lesser or are of no value

 

6.)    Wisdom is seeking out and holding women who exude these qualities up as role models for our daughters and giving them (the older women) the opportunity to instruct our daughters in godliness (see again Titus 2:3-5). 

a.       Certainly strip away the title of “role model” from ungodly, worldly women, but do not leave that position empty.

b.      Do not bypass the excellent, godly example of Christian grandmothers, older Christian relatives, other Christian women who exude the qualities of Titus 2:3-5 & 1 Peter 3:1-6, and the example of godly women in the Bible in order to put into that place of “role model” women who exude only the superficial characteristics of a world that is passing away (see Matthew 6:19-20 & 1 John 2:15-17).

 

7.)    Wisdom is holding up godly, Christian women as role models for my daughter, which conveys that her obedience to God is of much more value than the perishable, superficial “qualities” glorified by the world

a.       Remember that Jesus asked, “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his own soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? (Matthew 16:26 ESV)

b.      This teaches my daughter that the content of her character and her godliness has great value and that God sees that value…that God has placed her in a position of great honor when she is obedient to His will.

c.       There are great, wise women in the Bible that are, along with godly women in the church today, worthy of being role models for our daughters:

                                                               i.      Abigail (1 Samuel 25, with special emphasis on 25:3)

                                                             ii.      Dorcas (Acts 9:36-43, connected to Proverbs 31:10-31)

                                                           iii.      Priscilla (Acts 18:24-28, 1 Corinthians 16:19)

                                                           iv.      Deborah (Judges 4-5)

                                                             v.      Esther (entire book)

                                                           vi.      Ruth (entire book)

                                                         vii.      Hannah (1 Samuel 1-2)

 

Are we looking to the women of the Bible and Christian women today as role models for our daughters, or are we allowing society to twist our mindset in order to hold up Jezebel-type individuals as role models based on superficiality? Look for godly characteristics when holding up a woman as a role model for your daughter and speak wisely to your daughters rather than ignorantly.