Your Daughter Will Hear - Role Models for Our Daughters

What are the criteria by which you judge an individual to be a role model for your children? Recently, I came across a quotation posted by a young Christian lady that jumpstarted my thinking about how this question applies specifically to our daughters (yes, it is clearly important to carefully think about the role models our sons have as well, but that is not the specific focus of this article, and I was thinking specifically about my own daughter).  Through ignorance, a lot of individuals are held up as role models based on the wrong criteria…indeed, by superficial criteria rather than by spiritual, Biblical criteria.  The world (indeed, Satan) wants us to hold up rich, powerful, celebrities and/or political females as role models for our daughters while ignoring problems of character, which certainly conveys an ungodly message to our daughters. 

In Matthew 12:33-37 (ESV), Jesus said, “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit.  You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.  The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil.  I tell you, on the day of judgement people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”  According to Jesus, our words certainly matter, and they should not be in the “wisdom of men” but in the “power of God” (see 1 Corinthians 2:1-5).  With this in mind, let us think about ignorantly setting up role models vs. wisely choosing role models, with a specific focus on our daughters. 

1.)    Ignorance is saying that a woman should be a role model for my daughter because she is a (in worldly terms) “girl boss” due to her celebrity, political, or business-world status.

a.       This conveys to my daughter that the world’s perspective of the value of a woman is of more importance than God’s expectations.

 

2.)    Wisdom is looking to what God revealed concerning role models for our daughter, then finding godly women that exemplify those qualities:

a.       “…the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things – that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Titus 2:3-5 NKJV).

b.      “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.  Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel – rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.  For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror” (1 Peter 3:1-6 NKJV).

3.)    Ignorance is saying that a woman should be a role model for my daughter simply because of the intersectionality of her gender and ethnicity while ignoring the ungodly lifestyle, beliefs, and behavior of that woman.

a.       This conveys to my daughter that both sex and ethnicity are more important than content of character and godliness

 

4.)    Wisdom is understanding that the two quoted passages above (Titus 2:3-5 & 1 Peter 3:1-6) deal specifically with godliness and content of character

a.       Consider – if we hold up as a role model a woman simply because of her sex and/or ethnicity, yet ignore the beliefs she espouses (for example, her stances on abortion, transgenderism, racism, chastity, [foul] language. etc.), then we are conveying to our daughters that sex and ethnicity outweigh issues of righteousness.

b.      “And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who, knowing the righteous judgement of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them” (Romans 1:28-32 NKJV).

c.       Note that the Apostle Paul addressed what a person stood for rather than holding a person up because of their gender and ethnicity.  Content of character over superficiality.

 

5.)    Ignorance is holding up ungodly, worldly women as role models for my daughter while ignoring the ungodliness and glorifying her “power”

a.       This conveys to my daughter that the Christian women in her life who exude the godly, chaste qualities illustrated in Titus 2:3-5 & 1 Peter 3:1-6 are of lesser or are of no value

 

6.)    Wisdom is seeking out and holding women who exude these qualities up as role models for our daughters and giving them (the older women) the opportunity to instruct our daughters in godliness (see again Titus 2:3-5). 

a.       Certainly strip away the title of “role model” from ungodly, worldly women, but do not leave that position empty.

b.      Do not bypass the excellent, godly example of Christian grandmothers, older Christian relatives, other Christian women who exude the qualities of Titus 2:3-5 & 1 Peter 3:1-6, and the example of godly women in the Bible in order to put into that place of “role model” women who exude only the superficial characteristics of a world that is passing away (see Matthew 6:19-20 & 1 John 2:15-17).

 

7.)    Wisdom is holding up godly, Christian women as role models for my daughter, which conveys that her obedience to God is of much more value than the perishable, superficial “qualities” glorified by the world

a.       Remember that Jesus asked, “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his own soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? (Matthew 16:26 ESV)

b.      This teaches my daughter that the content of her character and her godliness has great value and that God sees that value…that God has placed her in a position of great honor when she is obedient to His will.

c.       There are great, wise women in the Bible that are, along with godly women in the church today, worthy of being role models for our daughters:

                                                               i.      Abigail (1 Samuel 25, with special emphasis on 25:3)

                                                             ii.      Dorcas (Acts 9:36-43, connected to Proverbs 31:10-31)

                                                           iii.      Priscilla (Acts 18:24-28, 1 Corinthians 16:19)

                                                           iv.      Deborah (Judges 4-5)

                                                             v.      Esther (entire book)

                                                           vi.      Ruth (entire book)

                                                         vii.      Hannah (1 Samuel 1-2)

 

Are we looking to the women of the Bible and Christian women today as role models for our daughters, or are we allowing society to twist our mindset in order to hold up Jezebel-type individuals as role models based on superficiality? Look for godly characteristics when holding up a woman as a role model for your daughter and speak wisely to your daughters rather than ignorantly. 

Wisdom and the Creation of the World

 What/who was present at the creation of the world and/or before it? In our Wednesday evening Bible class with the teens, we’ve been studying through the book of Proverbs (studying the text, connecting it to other passages throughout Scripture, and making practical applications), and we most recently completed Proverbs 8.  In that passage, Solomon connected the very existence and essence of wisdom to the creation of the world…in fact, Solomon states that wisdom predates the Creation.  This brings us back to the initial question – what/who was present at the creation of the world and/or before it?

 

a.       God the Father, the Spirit of God, and the Word (later to be known as Jesus)

 

                                                               i.      At Creation, these three parts of God were present, which we understand through tying together multiple applicable passages.  For example:

 

1.      “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.  The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep.  And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters” (Genesis 1:1-2 ESV).

 

2.      “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness…” (Genesis 1:26 ESV). 

 

3.      “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was in the beginning with God.  All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made” (John 1:1-3 ESV).

 

4.      “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14 ESV).

 

5.      “For by him [Jesus – the Word] all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities – all things were created through him and for him.  And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together” (Colossians 1:16-17 ESV). 

 

6.      “For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been fill in him, who is the head of all rule and authority” (Colossians 1:9-10 ESV).

 

                                                             ii.      By connecting these passages (these are just a sampling), we see that God the Father, the Spirit of God, and the Word (Jesus, the Son) were present at the Creation.  Further, we learn that the Creation happened through the Word (see again John 1:1-3 and Colossians 1:16-17).  Further, think about how Jesus was called the Word prior to His becoming flesh, then think back to the record of Creation in Genesis 1; “And God said” is used over and over as He spoke the universe into existence (Gensis 1:3, 6, 9, 11, 14, 20, 24, 26).

 

b.      Wisdom existed and was present prior to and during the Creation

 

                                                               i.      Solomon wrote, “The Lord by wisdom founded the earth; by understanding he established the heavens; by his knowledge the deep broke open, and the clouds drop down the dew” (Proverbs 3:19-20 ESV). 

 

                                                             ii.      Solomon later wrote more extensively: “The Lord possessed me [Wisdom] at the beginning of his work, the first of his acts of old.  Ages ago I was set up, at the first, before the beginning of the earth.  When there were no depths I was brought forth, when there were no springs abounding with water.  Before the mountains had been shaped, before the hills, I was brought forth, before he had made the earth with its fields, or the first of the dust of the world.  When he established the heavens, I was there; when he drew a circle on the face of the deep, when he made firm the skies above, when he established the fountains of the deep, when he assigned to the sea its limit, so that the waters might not transgress his command, when he marked out the foundations of the earth, then I was beside him, like a master workman, and I was daily his delight, rejoicing before him always, rejoicing in his inhabited world and delighting in the children of man” (Proverbs 8:22-31 ESV).

 

1.      This passage establishes that Wisdom predates the Creation and more specifically, it predates mankind.  Note that Solomon wrote, “…or the first of the dust of the world” (Proverbs 8:26 ESV), which brings to mind “…then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature” (Genesis 2:7 ESV).  Wisdom, then, predates not only mankind, but the materials from which mankind was created. 

 

Mankind frequently believes itself to be wiser than God (some assert that they are too smart to believe in an archaic God), but this is nothing new.  Although Job was a righteous man (see Job 1:1-12), chapters 38-39 present an interesting and humbling interaction between Job and God.  Consider the following:

 

a.       “Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said: ‘Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Dress for action like a man; I will question you, and you make it known to me” (Job 38:1-3 ESV). 

 

                                                               i.      First, note that God answered Job in a very powerful manner – from the whirlwind, God tells Job was is going to happen and gives him no option in this instance.

 

b.      “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding.  Who determined its measurements – surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy?” (Job 38:4-7 ESV). 

 

                                                               i.      Second, God started with the very Creation – although we know what God has stated and can take that on faith because of all the evidence presented (as Job did as well), can we explicitly state how exactly these things came into being? God spoke and they came into being, but we cannot do that ourselves, so this is a hard concept to grasp fully.  Third, note that God even used a little bit of sarcasm: “…if you have understanding…surely you know!”

 In the rest of Job 38-39, God continued to establish His power and might, along with His own wisdom in how He created everything and how He continues to sustain it even today.  Through all of this, it is established that God, the Spirit, the Word, and wisdom all took part in the actual creation of the world, but man was a part of that creation.  Are we really wiser than God? Are we really too smart to believe in an archaic entity that holds such power? In Gensis 1-2, Proverbs 8:22-31, and Job 38-39, the wisdom in how God both formed and sustains the Creation is evident; everything has to work together perfectly or it all would fall apart (the earth is the perfect distance from the sun…too far out, we all die…too close, we all die…and the list goes on).  The Apostle Paul wrote, “For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them.  For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made.  So they are without excuse” (Romans 1:19-20 ESV).  The evidence is there, but we must accept and utilize wisdom to understand any of it. 

 Finally, consider that even though wisdom predates creation, God has made it readily available to us…something so ancient can strengthen us in 2024 and is timeless (this takes the teeth out of the “but it is 2024, so those ways of thinking are archaic”).  Concerning that same wisdom, Solomon wrote, “Does not wisdom call? Does not understanding raise her voice? On the heights beside the way, at the crossroads she takes her stand; beside the gates in front of the town, at the entrance of the portals she cries aloud…” (Proverbs 8:1-3 ESV).  Solomon stated that wisdom is not hidden from mankind, but is openly available free of charge to all…but we have to listen, we have to study, we have to learn.  

The Virus & Love for Our Brethren

 For many years, there was a daily COVID death tracker on essentially all major news outlets and the world over was inundated with phrases such as “two weeks to flatten the curve,” “six feet apart,” “stay home, save lives,” “do your part,” “together we can do this,” and the list goes on.  Most importantly, everyone was told numerous times to “trust the science” and to “follow the science,” and anyone who questioned was openly mocked as a conspiracy theorist.  Misinformation must, of course, be stifled in the interests of the greater good.

 

More important: brethren, based on this information, condemned one another of the sin of not loving one another.  One prominent preacher and teacher openly advocated for “trusting the experts” over asking questions and proceeding with Scripturally based caution.  If, some asserted, you do not follow the masking procedures, social distance, and receive the vaccine, then you do not love your brethren and you were not obeying the government.  If you object to any of these things, you MIGHT turn someone who believes in all of them off to the gospel, and the Bible says not to offend. 

 

Pause for a second and think about all the brethren that were falsely accused of sin during the pandemic: “Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him” (1 John 3:15).  Is this a serious accusation? Consider also: “In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother” (1 John 3:10) and “We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren.  He who does not love his brother abides in death” (1 John 3:14).  As a Christian, we should take accusations of not loving our brethren to be very serious indeed; is it offensive to be falsely accused of this? Is this discouraging?

 

The assertion was, of course, to “trust the science:” “Anthony Fauci has never struggled to speak his mind.  But now that he has left government, he is finally speaking at least some of the truth about government policies and Covid.  For instance, the six-feet rule for social distancing ‘sort of just appeared’ without solid scientific basis.  That’s one of the many admissions that Members of Congress say the former National Institutes of Health potentate made this week in two days of closed-door testimony to the House Select Subcommittee on the Coronavirus Pandemic” (Editorial Board, WSJ, 2024)[1].  Trust the experts or you do not love your brethren? Trust the science because you are not a scientist? You do not have a peer-reviewed study showing your disagreement with COVID strategies, so that is just a conspiracy theory?

 

But people are dying, right? It is being reported on the news how many people are dying due to COVID, and questioning how those statistics are ascertained is anti-science, especially if you are not a scientist: “The official number [COVID deaths] is probably an exaggeration because it includes some people who had the virus when they died even though it was not the underlying cause of death.  Other C.D.C. data suggests that almost one-third of official recent Covid deaths have fallen into his category.  A study published in the journal of Clinical Infectious Diseases came to similar conclusions” (Leonhardt, 2023)[2]. 

 

Again, some might say, “Stop listening to FOX News,” but these two sources were purposely chosen because they formerly advocated for the very same policies that they were (at the time of publishing) questioning or attempting to distance themselves from.  In fact, within the WSJ article, they attempted to hold onto reasons why it was acceptable that they had not previous questioned the validity of Fauci's claims.  

The purpose of discussing this is not to do some sort of “I told you so.”  No, all of us were thrown into mix of something that we had never navigated before and we all made mistakes (there are certainly things that I did or allowed to happen around me that I would not do again).  However, there are cautions that we should take moving forward:

 

1.)    This is a prime example of “These people draw near to Me with their mouth, and honor Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me.  And in vain they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men” (Matthew 15:8-9 NKJV).  Many Christians had good intentions by following the “guidelines” set before them and that should not be broadly called into question (specific instances may be very different), but condemning one another as being unloving based solely upon the whims of mankind should not happen.  Hopefully we will each be more careful in the future and guide our responses on the word of God rather than the word of men.

 

2.)    During the COVID response, many Christians believed that God had left us without a guide, which was manifested either in word and/or in action.  The Apostle Paul wrote, “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17 NKJV).  Either this is true or it is not – there are not some things in which we may be “complete,” and some things in which we are not.  Will we have to work through the Scriptures in order to come to a better understanding of God’s goals? Absolutely, and that also means that mistakes are likely to be made along the way (therefore, grace one way or the other should be given). 

 

If we took the approach that our brethren were unloving because they came to a different conclusion than we did, then we need to think that through.  Did we make accusations of sin based not on the Word, but on the obviously fallible word of mankind? Did we offend and discourage our brethren? We can take one of three courses of action:

 

1.)    We can pretend like it never happened and never bring it up or fix it.

 

2.)    We can continue to hold onto and defend our previous actions because we’re too prideful to realize that we were played (continuing to call people “conspiracy theorists,” “science deniers,” and “anvi-vaxxers” would fall under this category).

 

3.)    We can realize that mistakes were made and that in our haste not to offend those of the world, our actions offended our brethren (see Galatians 6:9-10).

 

Again, this is not all written to be offensive or to be an “I told you so” in any way.  Instead, it is meant to show that a great many Christians were discouraged because of how they were treated by their brethren over manmade issues.  Satan seeks to divide us, and by doing so, he can pick off many souls.  Bearing with one another and helping one another will helps us…remember: “These were more fair-minded than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness, and searched the Scriptures daily to find out whether these things were so” (Acts 17:11).  We need to be Bereans. 

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[1] Editorial Board (2024, January 11).  Anthony Fauci Fesses Up: It Turns Out the Six-Feet Social-Distancing Rule Had No Scientific Basis.  https://www.wsj.com/articles/anthony-fauci-covid-social-distancing-six-feet-rule-house-subcommittee-hearing-44289850

[2] Leonhardt, D. (2023, July 17).  A Positive Covid Milestone.   https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/17/briefing/covid.html