Self-Control Series: Consequences (Article 03)

Our first article on the theme of self-control dealt with our ability to manage those whom we allow to influence our own spiritual choices, and our second article discussed our own attitudes concerning modesty/immodesty and how it both affects us and those around us.  As we conclude this short series, we will tie our original topics together and examine how a lack of self-control in either or both areas can bring about our own spiritual downfall. 

It is important that Christians realize that nobody else, not even the devil, has the power to remove our souls from salvation.  The only way that we can miss out on salvation is through our own choice to neglect the will of God.  Paul, in Romans 8:31-39, basically states this sentiment and tells us that we cannot be separated from the love of God by anything (note: the overall context discusses our obedience being essential and we should also tie this to John’s discussion of what love truly means in 1 John).  Therefore, the only person/being that can separate us from God is ourselves!

Having established that no one else can separate us from God, does this mean that others cannot influence us into separating ourselves from God? Absolutely not! Consider 1 Corinthians 15:33 where Paul writes, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals’” (ESV) and 1 Kings 11:4 where we have the example of King Solomon being turned from God due to the influence of his heathen wives.  Although we cannot be forcibly removed from God, we can be influenced into removing ourselves.  Although many Christians believe themselves to be so strong that they cannot stumble, there is a reason Paul writes that we are not to be deceived in this!  Our lives can and are influenced by those around us, which is why it is immensely important that we control those influences.  While we cannot always control those with whom we work or go to school with, we undoubtedly can control those whom we make our closest friends and companions.  Are your “best friends” those of the world or are they Christians? Does your best friend entice you to go out drinking, clubbing, smoking, or to wear lewd and immodest clothing?

If we believe that our worldly friends cannot or will not attempt to entice us away from God, or that we are simply too strong to allow that to happen, then we are mistaken (remember, Paul strongly stated not to be deceived).  When we associate with those of the world and see how they act/dress, we will be influenced into accepting it or even influenced to the point of participation.  Seeing others dress immodestly impacts our thinking and can lead to lust and/or fornication/adultery… even with the strongest of Christians! Romans 13:12-14 tells us to put aside the works of darkness (evil companionships, evil deeds, evil dress, etc) and put on the armor of light.  We are to walk properly, righteously, and not in “lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy.”  We put on Christ, and by doing so, we “make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts” (consider also 2 Peter 2:9-11; 1 John 2:15-17).  By surrounding ourselves with those that have not put away the works of darkness, we leave our own souls open for the devil to take.

In the Bible we read of men and women that were once righteous (and some returned to God), but were drawn away because they did not control the influences on their spiritual lives.  For example, consider Aaron in Exodus 32 and Solomon in 1 Kings.  Aaron was enticed by the Israelites to abandon God and to create a golden calf for them to worship.  Solomon, having been granted great wisdom by God (1 Kings 3:5-15), disobeyed God’s command and married heathen women.  We are told that Solomon’s wisdom exceeded the wisdom of all other wise men (1 Kings 4:29-34).  If Aaron and Solomon could be drawn away from God because they did not control those whom they allowed to influence them, could the same not happen to Christians today? If Solomon,  in all his wisdom, could be drawn away because he did exactly what God had commanded the Israelites not to do (marry foreign wives – 1 Kings 11:2), then why would we assume ourselves to be strong enough or wise enough to overcome such influences ourselves?

Brethren, we should not seek to get as close to evil as we can without going over some self-proclaimed line (as we discussed concerning modesty). We are to avoid evil companionships because of their influence on us and we are to be modest in our own dress because it expresses our godliness (and because we can cause others to stumble if we do otherwise).  It is nearly impossible to maintain self-control in mind and action when you do not control the circumstances.  In other words, while you absolutely CAN control how you dress yourself, you cannot control how others will dress… but you can make the conscious decision not go to a party or restaurant with someone who is or will be dressed inappropriately! If they dress in a manner that promotes lustful thoughts and/or fornication/adultery, then you are to avoid such companionships (we have used immodesty as an example, but the same principle can be applied to other sins: drunkenness, smoking, idolatry, etc).  In Philippians 4:8, we are to concentrate our minds on things of virtue, but how can we do this if we surround ourselves with people that draw our minds away from those virtues?

So, let us lay aside the carnal mindset (Romans 8:5-7), leave the works of darkness, and learn of the spiritual benefits of having fellowship with God and with one another (1 John 1:5-7).  Do we not gain more spiritually by associating with and doing good things for those of the same faith than we do by allowing ourselves to be tempted by the wrong associations (Galatians 6:9-11)? Remember, seek first the kingdom of God and allow that goal to guide every aspect of your life (Matthew 6:33), but also remember that we are NOT too strong to stumble (1 Corinthians 10:12)! 

Self-Control Series: Modesty & Immodesty (Article 02)

In our previous article, “Controlling Influences,” we discussed the outside influences that impact our lives, as well as how our own examples affect the lives of others.  Throughout this article, we will continue to examine those types of influences, but with a particular focus on how our modesty or immodesty affects others, Christians and non-Christians alike.  This study is particularly important because modest apparel seems to be taken for granted by many Christians today and they don’t honestly consider how their clothing affects others or what it says about their own spirituality.

The approach we will take in this study is somewhat different than many other Christians take when discussing modesty.  We will not attempt to set specific lengths for how long pants, skirts, etc, have to be, but rather we will discuss the attitude(s) behind modesty/immodesty and what our clothing says about our attitude.

How often have you heard fellow Christians that are going on vacation say that they cannot wait to wear their new swimsuit, or that they just bought a new pair of shorts, etc? How often have you heard something to the effect of, “I don’t FORCE anyone to look at my body” while having a discussion on modesty? Or perhaps you have heard the argument that since the Bible does not give an exact length for pants or skirts, then you cannot either.  True, the Bible does not state that our pants are to be 32.5 inches in length, nor does it say specifically that we shall not wear bikinis, swimsuits, shorts, or short skirts.  Remember, however, that the Bible does teach modest attitudes, and also that we are not searching for negative authority.  Let us turn our attention to some Bible passages and see exactly what it does teach us about modesty.

What does 1 Timothy 2:8-10 teach us about modesty? It teaches us that we are to be holy, which speaks to who we are and what our attitude should be towards obeying God.  We also learn about the two sides of immodesty: propriety and moderation.  Propriety is understanding what is appropriate to wear (i.e. – nothing revealing), while moderation keeps us in check on the other end of the spectrum (i.e. – not drawing undue attention because of costly clothing/jewelry).  What are these components of? Attire proper for women professing godliness! Also note that the term “in like manner also” found at the beginning of verse 9 connects this attitude of modesty back to the men in verse 8. 

In 1 Peter 3:1-6, we are taught that adornment is not to be concentrated on the outward, but on the inward.  Our dress should reflect the beauty of the incorruptible spirit that is within us.  We are taught through this passage that the attitude of modesty begins with the chaste spirit and that there were many godly women throughout the Bible that expressed this exact attitude! Again, what does this lead the Christian to? To the proper attitude and mindset (Philippians 4:8)!  What is the point of all of this? To be precious in the sight of God! This is to be done to show respect for God, for our fellow Christians, and also for ourselves.  By doing this, we keep ourselves pure and holy so that we can receive a greater reward than being able to wear inappropriate clothing on this earth!

Sadly, there are some Christians that advocate a “grey area” in our service to God, especially concerning modesty.  The grey area is when someone tries to get as close to the line of sin as we can without going over it (consider it this way: how short can we wear our pants/skirts before crossing the line into immodesty?).  However, what does it take to create a grey area? You have to mix light and darkness together.  Consider 1 John 1 in which we learn that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all (1 John 1:5).  How can we advocate a grey area in our obedience when there is no darkness at all in God? If we attempt to walk as close to some imaginary, self-proclaimed line of sin without going over it, then we have already crossed it! Romans 8:5-6 tells us that there are two mindsets: one is concentrated on the spiritual while the other is concentrated on the carnal.  Thus, our intent shouldn’t be to pursue the carnal (advocating a grey area for our own personal desires), but rather on the spiritual (getting closer to God)…no matter what “sacrifice” we have to make on earth!

With these concepts in mind, let us turn our attention to what our attitude should be towards our brethren.  John 13:34 teaches us that we are to love one another as Christ loved us.  Additionally, Hebrews 10:24 tells us that we should consider one another in order to stir up love and good works.  How can we possibly fulfill either of these passages if we cause others to stumble spiritually because of the way we dress (Luke 17:1-2)? Our goal should be to love one another and for all of us to reach Heaven. How can we consciously do something on this earth that makes us “happy” if it harms other Christians?

Finally, what does our modesty/immodesty say about how we respect ourselves? As was written in 1 Peter 3, our attire reflects what we actually think about ourselves.  When we dress in inappropriate clothing, we disrespect not only God and our fellow Christians, but also ourselves! We are to keep ourselves unspotted from the world (James 1:27), be pure in action and thought (2 Timothy 2:22), and have purified hearts (1 Peter 1:22).  After considering all of these passages, it is impossible to honestly advocate immodest apparel!

So, as we conclude, consider that in Proverbs 7, we learn that there is attire that is “appropriate” for a harlot and that it provokes thoughts and feelings in the opposite sex that are improper! The world understands this concept and that clothing insinuates something about the wearer, but it seems that many Christians deny this fact.  We need to stop being selfish and carnally minded, and concern ourselves with the care and well-being of our fellow Christians! So, as we conclude, ask yourself what your attire says about your approach to obeying God and how you care for your fellow Christians.

Self-Control Series: Controlling Influences (Article 01)

It has been said that the greatest trick that Satan ever performed was convincing the world that he didn’t exist.  Unfortunately, many people today, both inside and outside of the church, act as though he does not really exist.  This attitude leaves a great opportunity for Satan to achieve his ultimate goal: separating souls from God! In 1 Peter 5:8, we are told to be “sober, be vigilant; because” our “adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”  Using the language of battle, Peter teaches us here that Satan is not passively sitting by the sidelines and hoping that some soul will accidently end up in his hands, but rather that he is actively searching out souls and looking for opportunities to snatch souls away from salvation.  If Satan is actively working, then we must also be actively working against him!

How do we as Christians remove those opportunities from Satan? There are many ways to do this, but for the next few articles we will look at how self-control aids our battle against Satan in three key influential areas:  1.) self-control in who influences us; 2.) how modesty/immodesty impacts our spiritual life; 3.) how not controlling the previous two can lead to sins such as fornication and adultery.  The theme through all three sections is using the Bible to create proper self-control and not allowing these temptations to control us!

In order to combat the devil, we must control the outside influences on our physical and spiritual lives.  This includes the people we interact with, as well as things that impact our thinking such as books, movies, television, and many other possibilities.  For us to be able to properly control these mediums, we must first change our own hearts and minds so that we can properly identify the wrong influences.  In the book of Colossians, we are instructed to put to death the old man of sin and to put on the new man of Christ (Colossians 3:5-10; 12-17).  This dramatic alteration in our spiritual lives requires us to change at our very core: our hearts! In Matthew 15:19 we read that from “out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.”  Thus, if we change the heart, we can more readily identify the influences through which the devil seeks to devour us.  While our lives are to be guided by the will of God, He is not going to take control of our bodies and force us into the proper circumstances! If we control our hearts, then we will have the desire to control the circumstances into which we place ourselves and we are able to fight off temptation.

With this in mind we should remember that we cannot fully remove ourselves from the world around us. This is apparent given the infinite number of relationships a Christian will participate in throughout the course of his or her life.   Paul, in 1 Corinthians 5:9-13, writes that Christians cannot remove themselves from the world and completely disassociate themselves from the people around them, whether good or bad.  We must still work with, do business with, and go to school with people from the world that are still lost in sin.  Also, take note that we are not discussing whether or not we should be teaching the world about God; we are discussing socializing with the world and the impact that can have on our spiritual welfare.  

Not being able to completely remove ourselves from the world does not give us the freedom to excuse letting such associations have control over us! A common misconception (read: mistake) that many Christians tend to make is that they should associate with the most vile of people (meaning, they make them their best friends) because they want to be a “good example” to them.  Consider also 1 Corinthians 15:33 where Paul writes that we are not to be deceived and that “Evil company corrupts good habits.” If you take a good, healthy potato and place it in a bag full of rotten potatoes, does that good potato heal all of the rotten ones?

As Solomon asks in Proverbs 6:27-28, can a man take fire to his bosom and his clothes not be burned? So it is with evil companions! While we may seek to be a good influence on our friends in the world by going out to a party with them, but not drinking, we are only opening up an avenue of temptation through which the devil may devour us.  Consider it this way: if a Christian struggles greatly with the temptation of drinking because of their past life, then why would it be a good idea to go to a party with worldly friends where drinking and getting drunk are the main forms of entertainment? James 4:7 tells us that we should “submit to God” and that we are to “resist the devil and he will flee” from us.  In 1 Thessalonians 5:21-23, we read to “(21) Test all things; hold fast what is good.  (22)Abstain from every form of evil.  (23)Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” The language in both of these applicable passages is active: we must actively battle Satan and temptation by submitting ourselves to God and controlling what events and activities influence us.  We cannot place ourselves in circumstances where we will be tempted and expect ourselves to be strong enough not to stumble (see 1 Corinthians 10:12).  Consider the example of Joseph in Genesis 39: when temptation came on him in a circumstance that he actually could not control, he literally fled.  This is a perfectly acceptable reaction to sin and temptation today!

Surrounding ourselves with worldly companions simply opens a door for those influences to lead us from the path of righteousness and into sin.  Consider how Solomon, in all of the wisdom given to him by God, chose to marry wives from pagan nations; in the end, those same wives turned his head from God (1 Kings 11:4).  Remember also the influential power of the people of Israel when they convinced Aaron to create a golden calf for them to worship (Exodus 32).  The people around us will have an impact on the way we think and the things we decide to partake in, but we must control that impact us by controlling those with whom we most closely associate!